One Way to spell a word

dyslexic word-humor

As a seriously dyslexic word-smith, I collected the three examples (below) and put them through a text to speech system for my enjoyment. Enjoy as you wish; I believe it is best to read each, and after go to the audio complimented versions.  Read only is below.

  • Euro-English - a seriously, over regimented (logical?) plan,

  • Pea Sea - an accurate computer encounters a human mind

  • Cambridge English - how our minds actually work.

1. See it below

  1. Euro English

  2. Pea Sea

  3. Cambridge English

2. Hear it too

  1. Euro English

  2. Pea Sea

  3. Cambridge English

These are much funnier if the computer reads to you.


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Euro English

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European nation rather than German which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".


During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza.

Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.


If zis mad yu smil, pleas pas it on to oza pepl. 


Pea Sea

Hi, - Just checking to see if you are at your computer.
Yep, you are!

~~~Richard Orser___
Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.
Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.
-Sauce unknown


Cambridge English

  From Marifran...

  The peomnnehal pweor of the hmuan mnid.

  Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it

  deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are,

  the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be

   in the rghit pclae.

  The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it

  wouthit a porbelm.

  Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter

  by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

  Amzanig huh?

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Vincent J Cataldi -- Milwaukee, Wisconsin 53202 - USA
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